Hello families.
This is my last letter to you all as your Charter Mental Health Specialist. It’s difficult to decide what I’d like my last message to be to all of you, given that I’d like it to be something I feel is very important, and that I feel each of you is very important!
It’s been a long couple of years since 2020! All families have struggled in some form or fashion during these “unprecedented times” (that term has been used way more than I ever dreamed it would be). Behind all of the smiles and conversations with other parents - there are parents with worried minds about failed efforts to get their kids when and where they need to be with what they’re supposed to have, figuring out the rising costs of things and housing situations, difficult family dynamics only made worse by the pandemic or the fire, and fear of health issues and covid. I try to remember when I’m talking to a smiling parent that I have no idea what struggles have kept them up the night before, or the insecurities they feel about an issue they think only they have! I try to remember what it feels like when we show up late, miss an assignment due date or to not get enough volunteer hours in a particular month. The truth is - we don’t know what our fellow parents are struggling with behind closed doors.
One of my own spiritual advisors has often told me to “stay in my own lane”. If I’m doing too much - rather than blaming others for not doing enough (which is veering “into their lane”) - I just need to pump the brakes and slow down to take care of myself. The rest will eventually fall into place (this takes an incredible amount of patience and trust sometimes). And if I feel I’m not doing enough, then it’s time to focus on being kind to myself and recognize the importance of what I do get done!
Kindness without judgment starts with the way we care for ourselves. Can I be kind and nonjudgmental to myself when I make parenting mistakes, or I say the wrong things, or just generally get things wrong? When I am, it’s easier to pass on kindness and non-judgment to others.
With lots of love and appreciation for each one of you and the uniqueness you bring to this charter community,
Robin Bates, LMFT
Without the added support of our school during the summer months, it’s even more important for parents and kids to know what to do in the event of a psychiatric emergency! The following are resources and instructions for supporting yourself or someone else who is in crisis.
HOTLINES
- National Domestic Violence: 1-800-799-7233
- Suicide Prevention Crisis Line: (Santa Cruz, San Benito, & Monterey counties) 24-hour Hotline: 1-877-663-5433 (1-877-ONE-LIFE)
24-hour National Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
- Parental Stress: (800) 632-8188 (24/7-all languages)
- Walnut Ave Family and Women’s Center Domestic Violence Hotline: (866) 269-2559 (24/7, bilingual)
- Monarch Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault: (888)-900-4232 (Immediate crisis reaponse to vicims of domestic violence and sexual assault, 24/7, bilingual)
- California Peer Run Hotline: 1-855-845-7415 (Non-emergency resources for anyone in California seeking emotional support)
CRISIS TEXT LINES
- Crisis Text Line: Text Home to 741741 (Free 24/7)
- The Trevor Project (LGBTQ): Text Start to 678678
WHAT TO DO IN A MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS:
If you are thinking about harming yourself or attempting suicide, tell someone who can help right away:
- Call your doctor’s office.
- Call 911 for emergency services.
- Go to the nearest hospital emergency room.
- Call the toll-free, 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) to be connected to a trained counselor at a suicide crisis center nearest you.
- Ask a family member or friend to help you make these calls or take you to the hospital.
If You Have a Family Member or Friend in a Crisis: If you have a family member or friend who is suicidal, do not leave him or her alone. Try to get the person to seek help immediately from an emergency room, physician, or mental health professional. Take seriously any comments about suicide or wishing to die. Even if you do not believe your family member or friend will actually attempt suicide, the person is clearly in distress and can benefit from your help in receiving mental health treatment.
If you are not in imminent danger but need immediate crisis support call: (800) 952-2335 / (24-hours a day for Santa Cruz County residents to assess for hospitalization in a psychiatric crisis.)