Hello families!
Well, we made it through the first trimester! I’ve enjoyed walking around our beautiful campus and spending time with all of the students in various ways: from talking, playing some basketball, four square, Hoola Hoops, to making slime at the picnic tables! Watching and interacting with them helps me put my thumb on the pulse of our community. I get to hear, see and feel what’s happening in their day-to-day interactions with their peers, teachers, and staff. All of their boundaries, forms of communication and interactions, relationships with teachers and peers are changing and developing so quickly after experiencing such a long time of distance and isolation from their normal worlds.
I’ve decided to move on to the next area of our theme “The Rebuild”. We will examine and learn about who and how we are in our relationships. For younger children, I have started talking about social skills and making new connections, as well as using their “social superpowers” (seeing/hearing/feeling) in order to know what to do in various social situations. For middle school and up, we are talking about communication - and how our behaviors, attitudes, and words can be perceived differently in different situations.
In the coming months, we will try to raise awareness about boundaries, communication styles, active listening, empathy, and expectations. School is a time when children are constantly “colliding” emotionally into each other and learning how to navigate new worlds as they enter new stages of development. Their ability to grow and learn quickly in relationships is amazing to watch!
Things to consider for all ages…
As a therapist, I am always “listening” with my eyes, ears, and feelings as someone is talking to me. This is what true communication is. I talk to the students about the difference between communication and just talking. Just talking is allowing the words to spill out, but without much engagement in what is being said.
Ask your students to slow down and pay attention with all of their senses in a public space to the people around them - like a park or event. (Remember, “social superpowers” are seeing, hearing, and feeling emotions).
- What do they notice with their eyes? With their ears? With their feelings (empathetic feelings can come from seeing or hearing someone else’s feelings and then feeling them yourself).
- Watch one or two people interacting from a distance and use their “social skills superpower” senses to determine what is going on. What do they notice?
- Ask them what “social superpower” sense they would use if: (hint - it's okay to use all 3)
- A student on the playground was sitting alone and crying
- They misunderstood a set of directions and made a mistake
- A fellow student was asking around to borrow a pencil
- A group of students nearby were talking about their favorite video game
- They notice a student was left behind by a group of friends
Cultivating this practice of awareness can go a long way in seeing how our behavior communicates and impacts others, as well as how to determine what to do in various social situations. It is the first step in any relationship. Learning to slow down and pay attention to others in their surroundings is a valuable skill that will benefit them for a lifetime!
Robin Bates, LMFT