This morning, I watched the families walk their children to their first day of school for The Nature Academy 6th grade class. The kids waited patiently outside of the classroom, squirming around to contain the many feelings I imagined they were experiencing. It’s amazing how many emotions we can experience at the same time! Rosie Hope finished up with last-minute details in her beautiful classroom and stepped out to greet the students. She gave them their first set of instructions for entering the classroom. They listened so quietly and one at a time, they stepped into regular fully open school for the first time in 18 months. I felt tears on my cheeks as my mind flashed to all of the memories - the struggles, the lessons, the loneliness and fear, the discoveries, and the incredible journey we’ve all been through together. There were times in the past year where I wondered if we’d EVER reach this huge goal. It had become a distant dream of mine for a while. And now here we are. It’s not perfect, but when I focus on gratitude there is so much to be thankful for this morning. And there’s no doubt in my mind that every one of these children is loved by our Charter family.
This year is the year my family is working on the rebuilding of our home. And, each step of the process reminds me so much of the journey we are embarking on here on our Quail Hollow campus. We are at the beginning stages of home rebuild, and we are faced with one challenge after another. But once we accomplished a couple of the most beginning steps (preparing our land, tree work, working with the County, and hiring contractors), a new feeling emerged. I never liked our old laundry room, and I never felt quite safe on our old cracked foundation. But now, we have the opportunity to build a stronger foundation and rearrange our plan to better fit who we are as a family. This new feeling is hope. What a metaphor for where we are as a Charter community!
This is the year of “The Rebuild”, where I will focus on supporting students with rebuilding a sense of safety, rebuilding emotional resilience, rebuilding relationships, and rebuilding community. I’m guessing we are all a bit on edge for many valid reasons, and I hope to give the students many tools for managing challenging thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. From there, we can examine relationships, use skills for emotional problem solving, learn about communication, and manage behavior. My hope is that as the school year progresses, we notice the rebuild of our community! It’s in a community where we can heal, and perhaps grow wiser and more resilient than we were before.
As your children prepare to step into their classrooms, there may be a need to help them stay grounded. Remember, that stress, anxiety, and fear are produced in our midbrain, and there are ways to “trick” your midbrain out of perceiving a threat. Here are some simple tips for children managing stress and anxiety:
- Give yourself a big squeeze. Hold your arms out, take a deep breath, then squeeze your chest as tight as you can without causing any discomfort as you release a long slow exhale. It’s as if you’re giving yourself a giant hug! It gives your midbrain the feeling of being held safely. Parents, try it for yourself. It sounds silly, but it works!
- Figure 8 breathing. Some of you may be familiar with this one. The kids seem to really like it. Trace a figure 8 with your finger (it could be very small or very large - size doesn’t matter). When your finger goes around the first loop, inhale a deep cleansing breath. When your finger crosses over to the next loop, do a nice long exhale. Repeat as many times as you can. Find a rhythm that works well for you. This exercise can be done without your finger, as you can use your nose in the air, your foot on the floor, or any other creative way to make a figure 8 with your body. One student told me a couple of years ago that he would do this while walking in a figure 8 during recess.
- Count backward from 100 and tap your feet in synchronicity. This one is particularly great for getting a break from worry or impulsive thinking. Sometimes, the most powerful tool can simply be a very easy distracting task that your brain has to focus on to complete. You might find that you are creating a pattern or a rhythm as you do this. It’s great to do when you have ruminating thoughts!
- The 3x3. This one is a mindfulness activity that helps to open your mind and move out of fight/freeze/flight response. Pick three senses (ie vision, hearing, and touch). Then you experience three things with each sense. For example, three things I see (then release), three things I hear (then release), and three things I feel on my skin (then release). This can be done while lying down, sitting, or even walking/running. Remember to take a deep breath between each one to “release the sense” before moving on to the next one.
- Stomp your feet! Stomping your feet a few times vigorously is great for bringing us right back to the here and now, which helps when we are stuck in the future or the past. It's also a great way to release emotions that cause tension, like anger and fear. This tool is best used before, between or after classes, where they won’t have to worry about distracting other students.
Stay tuned for upcoming groups and offerings for good mental hygiene!
Robin Bates, LMFT
Mental Health Specialist