Hello Families! Wow. Really? I guess you know how I’m going to start this article to you - with a big “we are going through some major craziness” statement! There have been moments when I’ve had to narrow my mind to a single task at a time in order to not get overwhelmed! I’ve also had to practice cutting myself some slack - we are ALL doing the best we can with the cards we’ve been dealt these past few weeks (and months). I’m so proud of all of us.
We may all be experiencing moments of big thoughts and feelings these days. The name of the game for mental health is awareness. And when we can be aware of our thoughts without judgment, we remove many of the obstacles that restrict our options and resiliency to change.
In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, it is believed that by not judging, and not immediately believing our thoughts and feelings as fact, we can move into our wise mind and get to a better understanding of reality. This is no easy practice, but when kids start observing their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors they open a door to a much wider range of options and possibilities! In times like these, it is very easy to slip into black-or-white thinking and start believing our reactive thoughts to be totally true! For example, believing thoughts like, “this lockdown is going to last forever” can lead to feelings of anger and despair. Now is a good time to practice “responding” rather than “reacting”, by investigating and challenging our thoughts and expanding our perspective.
Here are some useful and fun ways to practice observing thoughts:
Ways to Practice Mindfulness of Current Thoughts from the book, “DBT Skills in Schools”
- Practice awareness of current thoughts by using words and voice tone. Say a thought or belief out loud, using a non-judgemental tone, over again in different ways: as fast as you can, as slow as you can, in a different voice from yours, as a dialogue on a TV comedy show or as a song.
- Practice awareness of current thoughts with opposite actions. Relax your face and body while imagining accepting your thoughts as only thoughts, or sensations of the brain. You can also imagine things you would do if you stopped believing everything you think. Try loving your thoughts as they run through your mind!
- Practice awareness of current thoughts by observing them. Notice thoughts as they come into your mind. As a thought comes into your mind, say, “A thought has entered my mind.” As you notice thoughts in your mind, as, “Where did the thought come from?”
- Practice awareness of current thoughts by imagining that your mind is:
A conveyor belt; and that thoughts and feelings are coming down the belt.
A River; and that thoughts and feelings are boats going down the river. Imagine sitting
on the grass, watching the boats go by.
A railroad track; and thoughts and feelings are train cars going by.
A leaf that has dropped into a beautiful creek flowing by you as you sit on the grass.
Each time a thought or image comes into your mind, imagine that it is written or
Pictured on the leaf floating by. Let each leaf go by, watching as it goes out of sight.
The sky, and thoughts are clouds. Notice each thought-cloud as it drifts by, letting
each drift out of your mind.
And here is a wonderful breathing exercise for managing stress and overwhelm by directing your attention right back to the moment:
Step 1: Sit comfortably and evenly in a chair or lay down on the floor. Close your eyes or gaze softly at the ceiling or floor.
Step 2: Take a deep cleansing breath.
Step 3: Breath the way you normally do, and start counting your breaths. However, make each breath the number “one”. Your mind might attempt to count to two and three and so on. If this happens, gently bring yourself back to counting “one” with each breath until you notice you become more centered and relaxed.
In times like these, it is too easy to be fretful of the future or regretful of the past. This is a wonderful exercise in quieting your mind and bringing yourself back to this moment, which is really the only one that counts.
Robin Bates, LMFT
P.S.
I’m happy to announce that the High school “Unwind” group will continue on Thursdays at 3. This is a great group to drop in and connect with fellow students, listen to some problem solving (or just good ol’ venting), talking about current events, and of course, bringing in some humor. I hope to see all of you high schoolers there!
Also - stay tuned for a group for K-5 students to have their own group! We hope to connect and have some fun. Details will come soon!