Happy New Year families! I hope you are all coming out of the holidays feeling rested and inspired for the new year. As a new homeschooling Mom, I am inspired by all of you! I truly believe in what our Charter community is doing for our children and families.
Recently somebody told me that their goal for 2020 is to sharpen their focus - like 2020 vision. I really like this idea as we move into more discussions and activities in classrooms that hopefully sharpen our vision and raise our awareness. As we continue the theme of “Me, You and the World”, we will look at who we are with others.
Many of our homeschool students do not return to the classrooms until the end of this month, so I will stretch classroom themes into February to ensure I get a chance to be in each classroom. So, during these next two months, we will focus on interpersonal skills - including communication, working with conflict, ways to support and listen to others, trust and setting boundaries. We could spend the whole year on this!
Some interpersonal tips to consider for forming healthy friendships: GIVE
(from “The DBT Deck for Clients and Therapists”)
G - Be genuine in your interactions with others. Be your real self and take the risk of being authentic. Being genuine means being honest and sincere about who you are, detaching yourself from being liked (this can be so difficult in the age of social media - where it is way too easy to hide behind our “digital mask”).
I - Show interest in other people. Give others space to open up, being willing to accept what they offer. Try a “show interest” experiment today when you interact with others and observe and describe the effects. You might be surprised to learn new things about people you thought you have known for years!
V - Validation communicates a nonjudgmental understanding of another person’s experience. Consider these questions: What is this person feeling, thinking and experiencing? What is behind the experience for the person? Communicate your understanding, showing compassion and concern for the person. If you’re not sure, don’t forget to simply ask and reflect what you heard in your own words (my most trusted therapist tool!).
E - Use an easy manner. Be decent with others, showing mindfulness and respect. Consider these questions before you feel an urge to say something to someone: Is it helpful? Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? If the answer to any of these questions is no, it could be wise to pause and rethink your message. Sometimes when we are tired, stressed, anxious or are struggling with overwhelm, we can project these feelings onto others by saying things we may later regret. Take time for self-care!
I look forward to getting back into the classrooms soon and having some great discussions with your students. Thank you for sharing them with me. Let’s have a great year!
Robin Bates, LMFT